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itsjustme 46, Female, Texas, USA - 37 entries

Dec 2006
3:56 AM CST

Well I hope everyone had a good holiday. The new year is just around the corner. I wonder what will be in store for me this year? Last week went just fine, even though there were a few minor setbacks. I'm glad it's over, and I can put it behind me. I knew in my heart everything would work out. I just couldn't get that nervousness to shake. Oh, well. Christmas was good. I didn't do anything to exciting, just went to my mom's house. But, I did get good presents this year, and I think I did well on the giving side too. I'm still not sure what I plan to do for new years. My friend invited me to a party, but I'm not sure if I want to go. Well, I just hope everyone has a good new year! Bye

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Angela Wang 47, Female, China - 73 entries

Dec 2006
5:54 PM EDT

Today is a busy day again. I rewrote my PPT paper which would be used in the class in which I will give a lecture in the tomorrow class for bachelor students. I am afraid I won’t deliever the main idea in my paper as facing all of the students. I hope I can do it well. Wait and see!!

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1 comment(s) - 07:50 AM - 03/19/2007

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charlax 71, Male, Arizona, USA - 744 entries

Dec 2006
1:22 AM MST

she locked me out of emale but the she wanted back in mine and eye can change the passwords again but why

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slickboy 37, Male, California, USA - 20 entries

Dec 2006
3:32 PM EDT

Many times I listening to a coversation being spoken to me, I look at the positive side and the negative side. Most of the time there is a cause and a reaction toward the situation. Many times I fell like saying something negative but that might insult the person. The best way to show your oppinion toward a person is to say it positively and at the right time. I am an honest person I alwyays tell my friends how I fell expecially if he or she had a bad comment I will exactly tell her how i fell even though its not good to hear I will still him or her, because thats how I am raised.

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bouchem 45, Female, California, USA - 2 entries

Dec 2006
2:43 PM MST

well i'm new to this...today was my day off of work i feel like i had so much to do but so little time..i really didnt do much just washed some clothes cleand up a little...i all so tryed calling my ex ya i know why do i want to talk to him if i know his no good for me...even though we been spreated for a year and 2 months i still feel like one day he will change i know im silly why would i want that back in my life right now everything is going good i'm starting to get back on my feet again.. got a new job this is my 2 week there i like it..i guess what it is i want to share my goods and bads in my life with some one..

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dee23 54, Female, United Kingdom - 170 entries

Dec 2006
6:41 PM GMT

hi happy christmas to all my niece made it home in time for christmas.and she is doing realy well .we all had a realy good time at my sisters house on christmas day and came home fit to burst.now looking forward to new years eve. mind you i'll be at home just me and my son cos my other half has to work .so it will be a quiet night in lets hope next year is beter than this one

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lorry 50, Male, United Kingdom - 3 entries

Dec 2006
2:38 AM EDT

hey everyone, my name is lorry bordieri, iam 31 and i live in melbourne austraila. iam married and have 2 girls. one of my girls has kidney failure and needs a kidney so in 63 days iam donating her one of mine iam a little bit scared but it will be so worth it at the end of it, anyway have to go cya later

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uns3ttl3d 38, Female, New York, USA - 57 entries

Dec 2006
2:09 AM EDT

hi i am a big ball of suppressed emotions. i'd seek help but no one can help me. my life is a series of people and situations that inhibit me from being happy and living life the way it was meant to be.

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uns3ttl3d 38, Female, New York, USA - 57 entries

Dec 2006
2:12 AM EDT

life is just one big fucking guilt trip and its forced and its inevitable and my mind wont stop thinking about the most trivial things and blowing them out of proportion. hi, this is me. i am self loathing. i hate myself and the world i live in. i live in a fucked up society that discourages people from being original. everything is fucked up and i take it upon myself to think that i can actually do something to help that when i really can't. and i feel guilty. i feel anxious. i feel unhappy. isn't living supposed to be about being happy and feeling good? i mean sure theres obstacles but i havent felt happy for years. this new year marks the point in my life where ive never felt more cynical. i could end my life right now without remorse or thought or tears or any sense of emotion because life really does suck and it never gets better for me because my mind is fucked and i cant get myself to enjoy anything ever. its me against the world and im going to lose. i mean i wont do it because my brother took his own life last august and i wouldnt want to put my family through that pain again. but seriously life is so fucked up. i want to be perfect but my mind isnt wired that way. no one's mind is wired that way. i want to enjoy life but the only thing that i really enjoy is sleeping when im able to which isnt too often and eating but that in turn makes me fatter and unhappier so im fucked either way. so all that really leavesis drugs and alcohol. either or im going to die anyway. might as well embrace it. dont get phased by anything. and dont worry because you're screwed either way. i wish i could feel. i wish i had emotions. i wish i had a sexuality. i wish i had at least a slight sense of self. i wish i was secure but in this world i question everything and trust nothing. its hard. its very hard.

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lmm27295 44, Female, New York, USA - 15 entries

Dec 2006
12:55 PM EDT

I don’t feel like I can even be around you or you be around me w/ fam, friends, etc. or even discuss things with you b/c no matter what it is, it is always thrown back in my face. When I was hanging out w/ Chandra a lot more it would be stuff dealing with Chandra and now that we are around my fam more, it is issues w/ my fam. It is a pattern. I don’t even want to tell you things that are going on half the time for the fact of how u might use it against me. Like for example, I have been thinking about going back to sch this fall but I didn’t want to tell you b/c if I was to decide not to go how you would treat me over it. I am tired of the money issue being thrown in my face, you were the one hell bent on buying a house when we did, I was fine staying in the apt a little longer and you knew my income situation when we bought the house, I discussed it with you more than once, and I also told you I did not want to buy the house if $ was going to be an issued and you reassured me we would be fine and look where we are at. I don’t hardly shop anymore at all and you still will find anyway you can for there to be some issue, ALWAYS. I need a new pair of shoes for work so bad, the ones that I mostly wear are like 7 yrs old and the other pair that I have, I have had several yrs and they kill my feet but I have not bought any for the fact of the $ and you b***hing about it and saying that I was spending you money. It hurts my feelings to no end that Tyler’s mom can say what ever she wants to, to you and you act like it is no big deal but I say something you don’t like and you go all to hell and treat me like royal crap and say anything you can to hurt my feelings. I don’t care about the excuse “well I don’t have to live w/ her.” It doesn’t make a damn, you should want things to be better w/ me b/c u r living w/ me. Also, she never worked when u 2 were together and u pd the bills but I work full time and sometimes part time and pay my 1/2 of our bills and all you do is give me grief about $???? And as far as the wedding, you have not contributed to the wedding. My parents are paying for my part as well as yours and have not once complained b/c they care about it that much. I cannot even get you to call your father about the tux. I have to tell him. This is important to me. This is my first time. But you act like it kills you to do the PL on ebay to help mom pay for the wedding. And I bring up that I have saved for the honeymoon and you just go ape s**t and bring the bills up again. Ok, I would much rather sit at my computer, in my home, clicking some buttons then have to drive an hr, after working all day, to work a part time job, and then drive an hr home, and get home at 10:30 and have to go straight to bed to get up and do it all over again. I am tired of the way things are. I am tired of them not changing for the better. I am not happy at all. I am tired of the fact that I cannot even get a hug from you w/o you grabbing all over me. I am just not happy anymore. The “I’m sorrys” are not working anymore. They are empty words. It would be different if when it was said things would get better. You say all the time the fighting needs to stop but what is actually being done to make things better. I am tired of blaming myself when it is not all my fault. I am always the one saying “I know I’m not perfect” or ”I know there are things I have got to work on” etc when you never come to me saying those things. You only try to find ways to blame instead of trying to change to make things better. I am not doing it anymore.

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